The Lie of Perfectionism
My name is Carla Varner and I am a perfectionist.
Perfectionism is not an addiction, but it is habitual and destructive. So, let’s talk about it. We’ll start by defining it.
Perfectionism: refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.
An article in healthline.com explains it this way:
“People with perfectionism hold themselves to impossibly high standards. They think what they do is never good enough. Some people mistakenly believe that perfectionism is a healthy motivator, but that's not the case. Perfectionism can make you feel unhappy with your life.”
MY JOURNEY
A few months back a good friend of mine confided in me about her struggle with perfectionism. She shared how she first identified it as a problem in her life, and the ways in which it had held her back personally, professionally and in her ministry work. Her story resonated with me. I could see parallels in my own life. By the time we finished our conversation I knew that I, too, suffered the same problem. I just hadn’t put a name to it.
ME, MYSELF & MY WRiTING
Before this realization I would have described my constant refining, tweaking and procrastinating as striving for excellence. But what I realized was that my striving for excellence had crossed the line over into perfectionism. After careful introspection, I concluded that what lay behind my perfectionism was a desperate, even fearful need of approval. I wanted everyone to love, or at least find no fault, with every word, drawing, post. It caused me to belabor every detail, making the process grueling at times.
LIAR, THIEF, TASKMASTER
Perfectionism is a liar, a thief and a taskmaster. It’s a liar because it tells us that our best efforts are worthless. It is a thief because it literally steals the joy of serving God through our lives from us. It’s a taskmaster because it imposes an impossible burden on us.
Perfectionism says to me, you are not good enough so keep trying, yet it is never satisfied. It is my accuser, my enemy, the one who says over and over again keep going, or just stop! But right there, in the middle of that lie is the truth, and once I spotted it I was able to turn it around on the enemy and throw it right back at him. In that place I exchanged the lie for my freedom, because he’s right, I’m not good enough. No one is, except God. Only God is good, only He is perfect. So, yes, I’m not perfect! I’ve learned to delight in that truth, because although I am not, my God is! And because I’m in Him, He is in me, making me fit for His service. That’s the truth no matter what anyone says, including myself.
PERFECTIONISM EXPOSED
In the light of Scripture perfectionism is exposed. Let’s take a look:
Psalm 18:30 says, As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
Jesus said in Mark 10:18, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God.
Psalm 19:7 The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: The testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.
Matthew 5:48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
